Romance....

*SUMMARY OF THE LECTURE ON A SINGLE WORD "ROMANCE"*

*Romance* is a way of "Showing" strong feelings
of love to the one you love.

Being *Romantic* is an
emotional way of proving your words to your
spouse.

A person can be in love but not romantic and a person can be romantic but not in love. Love is not romance and romance is not love, so the best of marriages are those that contain both love and romance covered with affection!

The Prophet (P.B.U.H) said,
The best of you are the best to their wives and I am the best of you to my wives (sahih al- Bukhari).

The Prophet clearly showed us here that he is the most romantic, caring, loving and sweetest husband to his wives. What a lovely hadith.

Even Allah Himself said,
*Hunna libasun laqum wa antum libasun lahunna.*
(They are garments for you and you are garments for them).

What better way can romance be described?

Many couples today are not romantic to each other, they only kiss each other during
copulation, they only hug each other when they receive good news. The husband only put food
in his wife's mouth when she is sick and too weak to eat by herself, the wife only buys gifts and provisions for her husband when he is hospitalized. They don't even
exchange love SMS', the only text they exchange is *"please call me".*

These are couples who feel its *"Childish"* to be romantic, they take life so serious that they are either discussing PDP and APC or how to solve the problems in the house. The husband merely sees the wife as a baby making machine, therefore, he only goes to her when he needs another child.

The wife too only sees her husband as a drilling
machine, she only entices him when she is horny
and needs some drilling.

They share the same bed every night yet they turn their backs on each other when sleeping and snoring. Rather than enjoying the marriage, they merely endure each other. Yet when this two see romance being displayed on TV, they secretly admire it.

Sheik Uthaymeen, Rahimahullah said,
*The wife becomes happy with her husband when he fulfils his duty, SHOWS HER LOVE, helps her and vice versa.*
(al'liqaa as'shari p40)
.
When a couple is not romantic, even if they
claim to love each other, the love withers away gradually. Love in the heart is like a seed planted on the farm. If you don't irrigate it (with
romance), it will slowly dry up and die away, until you begin to see your spouse as nothing but a mere liability.

The prophet Salallahu Alayhi Wassalam said, *Trust in Allah but tie your camel.* (sunan Tirmidhi 1925).

Don't just rely on Allah that he will sustain your marriage, put in your efforts to make the marriage last.

Sheik Saalih al-Fawzaan:
*Marry a loving woman who will love her man. Don't marry a dry woman who doesn't.*
(Al ittihaf p 875)

Dear Abu,
If you are not romantic towards your wife, do not
complain that she wears rags all over the house. Why will she adorn herself for you, when you won't even look at her or give her a compliment?

At times, some wives will spend hours plaiting a very stressful but beautiful hairstyle just to
please their husbands, when the husband comes home, he won't even notice the new hair because he doesn't CARE!!

Sometimes your wife spends hours preparing a
delicious meal, she inhales smoke, pepper and onion, at the end you will only eat the food and belch. No compliments. If one day her food is salty, you will tongue lash her. What kind of a husband are you who never sees good things but only the bad things?

Shaykh Raslan Said,

*Women are very fragile, if you utter a wrong word she will run away from you, if you utter a good word, she will come and sit next to you.*
(Mu'asharatun Nisa'a)

Brother, go to the market and buy sexy undies for her
like spaghetti, G-strings and leggings, if you still see her wearing wrapper, tell her to come, when she comes standing in front of you, remove the wrapper and tear it to pieces and tell her, *"go and use those new undies I bought for you"* But if you know you didn't shop for her recently, *please* don't tear her wrapper oooo, else you won't see meat in your food for the next two weeks.

Dear Sisters,
*Learn to be romantic, don't stop being romantic simply because your husband is not. Two wrongs do not make a right. Don't get tired of looking good for him.*

Many women begin to wear extra large pants after having just two kids. An extra large pant is not seductive please, its like wearing a basket. Am very serious . Some extra large pants needs slimming. Farting on an extra large pant makes it larger, like the
adult pampers in hospitals. It's an eye sore please. Wear something sexier.

Dear Ummi, know when to demand for some things. For instance, if you have Apollo (Conjunctivitis), *don't* go to your husband and say, *"habeebi (my love), look into my eyes and tell me you love me"* How will he look into your eyes when you have apollo?

Many couples do not care about pleasing each other at all. They don't adorn themselves for each other.
When they have to discuss at night, they need to stylishly move far from each other because of smelly mouths since they refuse to brush before sleeping.

The Prophet and Aisha were so romantic that they even used the same brush. Aisha radiAllahu anha said, The Prophet would use siwaak, then he would give me to wash. I would use it first, then wash it and give it back to him.
(Abu Dawood 1/45)

Spouses should learn to tickle and poke each other. Pinch his bombom, scratch his ribs or his toes, it will make him laugh uncontrollably. Call each other with sweet names. The prophet sometimes shorten Aisha's name to
"Aeesh" or Humaira.

Abdur Rahman bin Abu- bakr said, My father, Abu Bakr Siddiq once hosted some of
the ahlu suffah. He asked my mother to serve them food, whenever we took a morsel, the food will grow bigger. Abu bakr said to his wife, Oh sister of Banu Firas, what is this? She said, ya Qurratu Ayn, (oh you pleasure of my eyes), the food has increased thrice in quantity.
(Bukhari, Muslim).

If all muslim men give their muslim women their
rights in full, there will be no disbelieving woman on earth who would not respect Muslim women.

Finally,
Men should learn to call their wives in romantic ways. *Stop calling her "mama Sikira".*
Women too should learn to address their husbands with sweet names, do not save your husbands phone number with *"Baban Ali or Dauda"*  Please try to use words like my heart or my king and others.

Brothers and sisters my interest in this statement is to eradicate *Divorce* in our homes completely. *May Allah bless our married couples. For those who are still on the process, may Allah bless you with good and rightful spouses. Ameen. Jazakumllahu khair.