When a parent passes away, a new phase of dutifulness towards that parent.
A deceased parent is in greater need of his/her children - even more than when they the parent was alive. What children do for the parents during the parent's lifetime is for the worldly needs, but after their death, only Allah Ta'ala knows what is in store for them in the grave. This is why they are MORE IN NEED OF US AFTER THEIR DEATH.
1. DU'A :
Constant supplication to Allah for rahmah (mercy), asking Allah to shower your deceased parents with His special mercy. This act is invaluable for the deceased.
Through a child's dua, Allah - with His grace and mercy - enlightens the grave, removing the darkness and expanding it. Allah makes the grave a garden from the gardens of Paradise for the deceased. Therefore, always remember your deceased parent/s, and always ask Allah to shower them with His special mercy, enlighten their grave and expand it.
A good way of always remembering your parents is at mealtime. As you are about have a meal think about the many wonderful meals your mother had prepared for you and how she looked after you all your life. Your heart will surely soften and at that point, let it drive you to offer a similar meal to an orphan, widow, divorced or needy person on her behalf, begging of Allah to reward her for it.
Similarly for your father. Remember all his sacrifices in giving you an education, sound upbringing and making you blossom in what you are today. Then pray for him and sponsor a needy student on his behalf.
Give charity on their behalf, recalling the many favours they did for you. And when doing so, never forget to include our Noble Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam and the illustrious Sahabah in your Duas too.
2. FORGET THE PAINFUL MOMENTS :
Always have fond memories of your parents, no matter how harsh they may have been with you. Only Allah knows the love they had in their hearts for you. They brought you up in the best way they could, although you may not have agreed with it.
Remember them in your du'a during sujood (the prostration), between the athan (the call for prayer) and the iqamah (the in-mosque call for prayer just a few minutes before congregational prayer), and in every act of worship.
3. CHARITY:
Give charity on their behalf openly and privately, wipe away the tears of orphans, widows and divorced (through charity) on behalf of your parents, quench the thirst of the thirsty on their behalf (by having a well dug, for example). Go out of your way to be the best child to your parents for they have sacrificed much to raise you.
YOU MAY BE OF MORE BENEFIT TO THEM AFTER THEIR DEATH THAN WHEN THEY WERE ALIVE. MAKE UP FOR ALL THE LOST MOMENTS AND ARGUMENTS NOW
4. SPECIAL DU'A:
This is the dua for deceased parents:
ﺭَّﺏِّ ﺍﺭْﺣَﻤْﻬُﻤَﺎ ﻛَﻤَﺎ ﺭَﺑَّﻴَﺎﻧِﻲ ﺻَﻐِﻴﺮًﺍ
Rabb-ir-ham-huma kama rabbayaani sagheera (Quran surah 17, verse 24)
Translation : "My Lord .. Bestow thy mercy on my parent/s as they cherished and raised me in my CHILDHOOD"
Let us teach our children this dua for one day we all shall need it.
May Allah bless our parents in this world & HEREAFTER - Ameen
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