My wife died because of my pride

Wifey and I had a little argument over breakfast on a Monday morning while we were both preparing for the day’s job. My anger was with the way she spread the butter on the bread that morning, it was quite rough and not pleasing to the eyes though I corrected her with my voice sounding like a thunder all over the room but I never knew it would lead to this, if I had known, I would have overlooked and ate the bread without uttering a word after all, I ate it still.

Hearing the way I rose my voice at her, really made her mad and she left the dinning without having breakfast that morning and off she went to work without me that day not even saying goodbye to each other. I was mad, she was mad too and our mistake was that none of us was willing to come to like terms. We returned from work that evening without talking to each other, we had dinner separately and went to bed without exchanging pleasantries.

Tuesday came and passed on, so was Wednesday and Thursday morning. Thursday evening at dinner, she said “hi” but I was too proud to respond so I mumbled on my meal and left the table hurriedly but all along, she was simply smiling at her “Baby Husband “. Wifey is truly a great beauty to behold. Her smiles melts every tough heart so in a bid to avoid “falling my own hands”, I hurriedly left the table.

If at all we’ll end this war, she’ll be the one to say sorry, not me. I won’t let her beauty lure me into saying sorry – these I murmured as I left the dinning to the bedroom but she kept on smiling. She got into the room and straight she went into the bathroom, while bathing she kept singing. If we were in good terms, I’d have sang along since that was my favorite song but my pride robbed me the opportunity to end the drama I had with her.

Before she could get to bed that night I was fast asleep. It was some minutes past 3am that Friday morning when I felt her hands on my body tapping me non stop. I quickly pushed her hands away and got myself covered with the blanket. Sincerely, I thought she was tapping me just to get into Jerusalem, I never knew that would be the last time I’ll feel her touch.

I fell asleep in the process and woke up fifteen minutes past 7am and I quickly dived into the bathroom cos we were almost late for work, I woke up got dressed, had breakfast and Wifey was fast asleep still, my pride never gave me the opportunity to talk to her so I left her in bed and off I went to work.

Long story cut short, I returned home on Friday evening meeting virtually everything at the same spot I left it that morning. The doors were wide open, the table was left unkept. A cold chill ran through my vein. I dived for the stairs, having my Wife in heart. On getting to the room, the door was wide open, Wifey was still in bed and at the same position I left her before leaving the house that morning.

My phone fell from my hand as I muttered indistinctly rushing towards her…”Baby” I stuttered as my hands went all over her. Her body was cold…unknowingly, I peed on my trousers instantly. I placed my head on her chest and realized she wasn’t breathing…I shouted the name of Jesus at the top of my voice as I brought her closer to me having her in my arms. My Baby was gone already. There was no life in her. Her body was terribly cold.

It was still like a movie to me not until her body was being laid to rest; at that moment I realized my Wife died on my bed. I couldn’t cry nor laugh, my head was spinning like I was gonna go mad anytime soon. I feel terrible on the inside, if only I could turn back the hands of time.

Wifey was asthmatic. When she was tapping me that morning, she was having a crisis which only her inhaler could solve. She was probably tapping me to help get it for her but my pride kept me away.

I lost the Woman I truly love to the cold hands of death carelessly. Ah! If there was no quarrel that morning my beautiful Wife will still be among the living today. It’s been three cold weeks she left. My world is shattered! I am void of love if only I could turn back the hands of time, I would have right my wrong!

Bottom Line: Dear courting and married people, never should you let the night fall without settling that misunderstanding between your spouse and you. Never give the Devil a chance to prove himself in your home and relationship. Your spouse is your partner, not your competitor. No one has ever been awarded for being the best grudge keeper. Wise people keep their home and relationship, careless people gives the devil a chance to prove himself.

Choose wisdom over anger today...

10 Homemade Recipes for Facials

HONEY MASK 

1 tbs Honey, 1 egg white, flour (enough to form a paste)–apply it directly to skin and remove after 15 minutes with warm water

OATMEAL MASK

5 tablespoons of Oatmeal & enough water to form a paste. (You may also substitute with milk for more nourishment). Apply directly to skin and remove after it’s hard with warm water. This is good for oily skin. 

AVOCADO MASK Avocado (mashed)–apply to face and remove after 20 minutes

STRAWBERRY MASK

Strawberries (mashed) and honey (about 1 TBS)–apply to face and remove after 10 minutes with warm water

STRAWBERRY & YOGURT MASK

Handful of strawberries (mashed), 1/2 cup plain yogurt, and 1/2 cup oats. Apply to face for 15 minutes and remove with cold water.

STRAWBERRIES & CORNSTARCH MASK

Strawberries & Cornstarch (2 to 1 ratio)–mash strawberries very well and mix in cornstarch. When you have a paste, apply to skin and remove after 30 minutes with warm water.

BANANA MASK

Bananas (ripe, mashed) mixed with 2 tablespoons of honey. Apply directly to skin and remove after 15 minutes with warm water.

PAPAYA MASK

Papaya (mashed), mixed with the juice of 1 lime, 5 tablespoons of oats, and 2 egg whites. Mix very well and apply to skin. Remove after 15 minutes with warm water.

KIWI MASK

Kiwi (mashed), 2 TBS yogurt (plain), 1 TBS fresh orange juice–apply and remove after 15 minutes with warm water

YOGURT MASK

Yogurt (plain)–apply directly to skin and remove after 20 minutes with warm water

what do you see?

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?

What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?

A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,

Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'

Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.

And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet

Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.

Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.

Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,

Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,

But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.

At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,

Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.

I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.

And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.

It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.

There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,

And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells

I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.

And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.

And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.

Not a cranky old man .

Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too!

PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM!

The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart!

A father’s lament

Wrinkled old hands desperately search the night stand for his spectacles. He cannot remember if he placed them there last night. He cannot remember what he had for dinner last night.. his memory just like his eyesight is giving up on him..

His frail legs feel weak as he attempts to get out of his bed.Is it morning already? Where am I?As his tired old eyes search the cold beige room he is met warmly by the morning nurse…She greets him with a familiar smile, hands him his medication and helps him out of bed… his legs just like is eyesight and memory is giving up on him.

He knows this place well, it has been his home for almost a decade yet every morning he wakes up wishing it was all just a bad dream, hoping to see a face he can call family.. alas his family gave up on him before his eyesight, memory and frail legs did.

He sits on a wooden chair outside with his tasbeeh in hand, sweet whispers of zikr escaping his parched lips. He loves this chair as it is the only piece of his previous life that he was ‘allowed’ to bring with him. He feels the heat of the sun warming his body yet never reaching his heart.His heart is giving up on him…. just like his eyesight, his memory, his legs and his family did.

He retreats to the common living area to visit his only friend, an old man with a young soul who lights up the home with his laughter and jokes.

Everyday he meets his friend and shares the same memories of a beautiful life once lived. Memories of the love of his life, his precious wife who passed away decades ago but his heart and soul would never allow his mind to forget her.

He remembers the names of his 2 sons as he proudly states that one of them is a doctor, the other an engeineer.He talks fondly of his little grandson,tears escaping his tired eyes as his heart yearns to meet him again, perhaps just one last time. He has not seen his family in over 3years….

He carefully thought them how to walk, catching them before they could fall, the same children sent him a walking aid on his birthday….

He lovingly carried them on his shoulder showing them the world, the same children are far too busy to come visit him.

He sacrificed his own needs and wants in order to give them a comfortable life.. the same children do not even call him to ask if he is alive or dead.

This is a man who was the sole breadwinner of his family for over four decades,he struggled to make ends meet and did extra hours of work to put his children through university. Today he is alone in an old age home surrounded with nothing but vivid memories of a life once lived for company..

His eyesight gave up on him, his legs gave up on him, his memory gave up on him, his heart gave up on him.. his family gave up on him… and finally his life gave up on him……

Now they will come with tears in their eyes and regret in their hearts……

By N Chhipa

Our Allah is with us..

The darkness envelopes me and I'm afraid of what beckons... The fear of what tomorrow holds, the fear of the reason behind the pain, the fear of not being able to meet commitments, the fear of making mistakes that I cant afford, the fear of making the wrong choices.

The darkness calls out to me....

Allah calls out to me ....

Beckoning me to him in the darkness of the night and I turn to Him knowing that everything will be ok, I will be ok, that whatever I will have to face in this undesirable duniya will be ok - I will not be alone, that Allah is always with me. People let you down, even loved ones.. But Allah never does.

How beautiful is His love that even when we let Him down, He is still with us, He still loves us. ... A love that is stronger than a mother to a child. A love that is stronger than a lover and his beloved. 

Allahs love is unwavering and constant, Allahs love is deeper than the deepest depth of the ocean. Allahs power and might is unfathomable. 

As easily as He turns darkness to light He can turn any situation from difficult to ease.

So lets embrace whatever tomorrow holds knowing our Allah is with us, helping us, guiding us, protecting us.

My mother..

This is a truly BEAUTIFUL piece please read this at a slow pace, digesting every word at leisure...do not hurry....this is a treasure...

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom, this is beautiful

For those of us who aren't, this is even more beautiful. For those who are moms, you'll love this.

 

The young Mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. 

And the Guide said:  "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it.

But the end will be better than the beginning." But the young Mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. 

So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,

"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this." 

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, 

"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and nothing can harm us."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. 

But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said,

"Mother, we would not have made it without you." 

And the Mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said,"This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. 

Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I've given them strength." 

And the next day came strange clouds, which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light."

And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said,

"This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. 

But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. 

And Mother said,"I have reached the end of my journey.

And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."

 And the children said, 

"You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." 

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her.  And they said: 

"We cannot see her but she is with us still.

A Mother like ours is more than a memory.  She is a living presence......" Your Mother is always with you.... 

She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. 

Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallised in every teardrop.

She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. 

She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you'll. Not time, not space... not even death!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MOTHERS AND CHILDREN YOU KNOW. MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED NO MATTER WHAT...

 May Allah grant all the marhoom mums the highest stage in Jannah,آمين يا رب العالمينر 🙏🏼

Sharing this post..not my post ☀️☀️

The invisible enemy

The world has become involved in a war with an invisible enemy. 

The lockdown that has ensued throughout the world is slowly but surely taking it's toll on young and old. 

If the virus doesn't kill you, you will kill yourself if not through suicide then through self-sabotage. 

The stress of not working, pending unpaid bills, having to still have to have your basic needs fulfilled, kids to take care off and keep entertained.. The list is endless. 

And there doesnt seem to be an end in sight. 

Keep thinking about it and stressing about it and you working to self-sabotage yourself. The pain you causing yourself is more painful and prolonged than suicide. 

The day brings with it a glimmer of hope, but as the day passes and circumstances remain unchanged the pending darkness, the gloom and doom of an uncertain future looms.

Nothing you do can change the situation overnite but you can work to slowly take baby steps to gear yourself to get through this. 

The first thing you need to do is give yourself a break. Dont strive to be and live in perfection. Take it easy. Your home doesnt need to be spotless it needs to be livable. Your kids dont need to be on good behaviour 24/7, they too need to let their hair down. You dont have to be picture perfect, you can totally work in pjs and from bed and run both home and work at a leisurely pace. Take time to reboot your system. 

The second thing you need to do is keep the idle mind occupied.. If you are working from home, try to create a routine where work and chill time Co-exists. All work, with low results due to the limitations you are facing will drag you down cos you think you are failing but every step you take forward is part of the pathway to the success you are leading yourself to. It will be slow and tedious but know that you will get there. You can make it happen, you just need to reshuffle and adjust to the new norms. If you dont you will fail and if you do you will succeed. 

The third thing you need to remember and remind yourself constantly is that we are all in this together. Yes no ones alone. We all are facing the same issues, the same fears, the same uncertainties. 

The fourth thing you need to do is not blame yourself. The current situation is out of our control. 

The fifth thing is more of a realisation.. Back in the day.. I was always told, "Dont put all your eggs in. One basket".. Today with many dedicated to a specific job, and learning one specific skill and not broadening our horizons, we have now learnt the hard way that we have infact put all our eggs in one basket. But its never too late, to start a side hustle. There are also many institutions offering free online courses to broaden your knowledge and skills. 

Last but not least is to Pray, Persist, Persevere and stay as Positive as possible... This will lead us through this dark era. 

See you on the other side.. 

Shireen M

The day my father died...

Written by John Pavlovitz. 

The day my father died, I was at the grocery store buying bananas.

I remember thinking to myself, “This is insane. Your dad just died. Why the hell are you buying bananas?”

But we needed bananas. We’d be waking up for breakfast tomorrow morning, and there wouldn’t be any bananas—so there I was.

And lots of other stuff still needed doing too, so over the coming days I would navigate parking lots, wait in restaurant lines, and sit on park benches; pushing back tears, fighting to stay upright, and in general always being seconds from a total, blubbering, room-clearing freak out.

I wanted to wear a sign that said: I JUST LOST MY DAD. PLEASE GO EASY.

Unless anyone passing by looked deeply into my bloodshot eyes or noticed the occasional break in my voice and thought enough to ask, it’s not like they’d have known what’s happening inside me or around me. They wouldn’t have had any idea of the gaping sinkhole that had just opened up and swallowed the normal life of the guy next to them in the produce section.

And while I didn’t want to physically wear my actual circumstances on my chest, it probably would have caused people around me to give me space or speak softer or move more carefully—and it might have made the impossible, almost bearable.

Everyone around you; the people you share the grocery store line with, pass in traffic, sit next to at work, encounter on social media, and see across the kitchen table—they’re all experiencing the collateral damage of living. They are all grieving someone, missing someone, worried about someone. Their marriages are crumbling or their mortgage payment is late or they’re waiting on their child’s test results, or they’re getting bananas five years after a death and still pushing back tears because the loss feels as real as it did that first day.

Every single human being you pass by today is fighting to find peace and to push back fear; to get through their daily tasks without breaking down in front of the bananas or in the carpool line or at the post office.

Maybe they aren’t mourning the sudden, tragic passing of a parent, but wounded, exhausted, pain-ravaged people are everywhere, everyday stumbling all around us—and yet most of the time we’re fairly oblivious to them:

Parents whose children are terminally ill.

Couples in the middle of divorce.

People grieving loss of loved ones and relationships.

Kids being bullied at school.

Teenagers who want to end their lives.

People marking the anniversary of a death.

Parents worried about their depressed teenager.

Spouses whose partners are deployed in combat.

Families with no idea how to keep the lights on.

Single parents with little help and little sleep.

Everyone is grieving and worried and fearful, and yet none of them wear the signs, none of them have labels, and none of them come with written warnings reading, I’M STRUGGLING. BE NICE TO ME.

And since they don’t, it’s up to you and me to look more closely and more deeply at everyone around us: at work or at the gas station or in the produce section, and to never assume they aren’t all just hanging by a thread. Because most people are hanging by a thread—and our simple kindness can be that thread.

We need to remind ourselves just how hard the hidden stories around us might be, and to approach each person as a delicate, breakable, invaluable treasure—and to handle them with care.

As you make your way through the world today, people won’t be wearing signs to announce their mourning or to alert you to the attrition or to broadcast how terrified they are—but if you look with the right eyes, you’ll see the signs.

There are grieving people all around you.

Go easy.