Sunday, 17 February 2019



I used to interpret the saying "Marriage is not for small boys" to mean small  boys in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years.

I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47 years in marriage? 

Beaming, she retorted; My son, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that. 

You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home. If you make the man unhappy, you make the house uncomfortable.

So, I married without high expectations from my husband but simply to make him happy always. 

Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his clothes he would take to work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily endeavours. 

I asked my old woman, so then what does the man do in return? She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; You see, this is the mistake you young ones make in marriage. 


When it becomes your attitude to only please your husband or wife always, the other person responds naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it doesn't rattle. 

She continued, my son, never carry "how rich or poor your family is" into marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman. 

Love only compels/leads would-be couples into marriage but it doesn't sustain marriage. Rather, understanding, patience, communication and most importantly, forgiveness sustain every marriage. High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in marriages.


Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, God fearing person etc. You cannot get all your expectations in one person. With time and depending on your relationship, you may get some. So minimise your expectations in marriage. 

To cut the long story short, as too many cooks spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes a couple should resist at all cost in marriage:

1) Never say you have made your wife or husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. God only used you as an agent for transformation, give the glory to God. 

2) Let the man be head of the home no matter the financial, economic, physical and emotional health situation prevailing in the couple's life whilst the woman exercises diligence in the use of the tongue. 

3) Having children should not be the ultimate objective in marriage. They are given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.

4) Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day's stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and not "Angels" in that marriage

5) Resort to God often and less to men to solve your marital disputes. 

6) Let the women " Make up" their characters much more than they make up their body. 

Indeed, marriage is not for small boys because small boys struggle to forgive, demand everything speedily, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends etc.

Make every effort to let that marriage work and may God help us.

Kindly Share to Bless Others

Written by @Isaac Owolabi #IsaacoMedia 

Nice reading!!!

Halaal and haraam

It is halaal (permissible) for a widow or a divorcee to marry again - it is haraam (prohibited) for YOU to gossip about her 'character' if she does.

It is halaal for a woman to ask for khulaa' (divorce) if she cannot stay in the relationship in a healthy manner any longer - it is haraam for YOU to backbite and raise questions about her femininity, loyalty and nature.

It is halaal for a woman to raise her voice if she is going through domestic abuse, torture and blackmail - it is hypocrisy for YOU to tell her to bear with it because she is a woman!

It is halaal for a woman to ask for her mahr from the husband the moment she gets married - it is shameful for YOU to expect her to "forgive" the mahr if she wants to be called a 'good' woman.

It is halaal for a woman to pray inside the masjid, meet her sisters for dawah and recreation, and have fun in life - it is outside of enough for YOU to tell her she should become invisible if she wishes to enter Jannah.

Get out of your little holes and stand up for JUSTICE, TRUTH AND ISLAM! Enough of your cultural, scared, and humiliating tactics to make me believe Islam has done this to me. Nay! Every time you do not stand up for my sisters when they are abused and misused, YOU ARE ACCOUNTABLE.

Either have the courage to practice the true teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) or 

for the Sake of your self -STAY OUT OF IT.

#COPIED courtesy of Naeela khan. Just to raise awareness of women's rights in these matters.