Sunday, 17 November 2019

Sunnah of acceptance

When 'Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, broke a dish of food out of jealousy in front of a gathering of people, the Prophet, (saw) was gentle with her. He understood that this behavior was a reflection of one of her personal shortcomings. 

He reminded us all, forever and always, that was was "our mother..." and that meant she had so much good and she deserved our respect, love, and admiration and ability to overlook this moment. 

We all have personal shortcomings. I've yet to meet someone who doesn't. The closer you get to a person, be it a family member, friend, a teacher, or your very own spouse the more you will see their shortcomings. 

But the sunnah of not trying to break a person in order for them to change is one I find most beautiful. 

Treating someone with gentleness doesn't mean condoning their choice. 

It's allowing love to be a teacher and a healer. 

One of the themes of my day today in terms of coaching wives and couples today has been one of acceptance. 

Accepting that their spouse is different. 

Accepting that their spouse has a certain personality. 

And being merciful and gentle in working with it rather than constantly criticizing it. 

Our Prophet... his character and choices always move me every time I imagine certain situations in real life situations. 

If I could just be a fraction of who he was.... salalahu alayhe wa sellum.... 

And even though we have, on public display and in public memory this moment of 'Aisha's, she was also amazing in every way masha'Allah.

If we had just a fraction of her patience, her taqwa, her resilience, her determination, her softness, her gentlness, her love.....

Your spouse will have moments. 

You will have moments. 

Let us remember the sunnah of acceptance and knowing how and when to invite change. 

Relationship Resources:

Be challenged

The Japanese have a great liking for fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So, to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.
The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring back the fish. The longer it took them to bring back the fish, the stale they grew.
The fish were not fresh and the Japanese did not like the taste. To solve this problem, fishing companies installed the freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.
However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little hashing around, fishes stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive.
Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis! But today, it has got over that crisis and has emerged as one of the most important trades in that country! How did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan ?
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged  and hence are constantly on the move. And they survive and arrive in a healthy state! They command a higher price and are most sought-after. The challenge they face keeps them fresh!
Humans are no different.

 L. Ron Hubbard observed in the early 1950's:

 "Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment.

"George Bernard Shaw said:   

 " Satisfaction is death!"

If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy. Your challenges keep you energized.They keep you alive! 

 _*_Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!*

MORAL: If you look healthier, younger and energetic, than definitely there is a shark in your tank.

Friday, 15 November 2019

6 Secrets To Success

1. Trust yourself

Trust yourself, dig deep down and ask yourself: ‘Who do you want to be?’ Not what, but who. Not what your parents or teachers wants you to be, but you! Figure out for yourself, what makes you happy, no matter how crazy it may sound to the people. What is inside your heart and inside your head? Be determined and be unique, drive to think big and dream big.

2. . Break the rules

We have so many rules in life about everything, break the rules!  Break the rules, but not the law. It is impossible to be a true original if you too well behaved and not break the rules, you have to think outside the box. What is the point of being on this world if all you want is to be liked by everyone. The only way that I ever got any place was by breaking some of the rules.

3. Don’t be afraid to fail

Anything that I’ve ever attempted I was always willing to fail. You can’t always win, but don’t be afraid of making decisions. You can’t be paralyzed by fear of failure or you will never push yourself. You keep pushing because you believe in yourself and in your vision and you know that it is the right thing to do, success will come. So don't be afraid to fail.

4. Don’t listen to the naysayers

How many times have you heard: you can’t do this, you can’t do that. It has never been done before. Just imagine if Bill Gates had quit when people said it can't be done! I love it when someone says that no one has ever done that before, because that means that if I do it, that means that I am the first one that has done it. So pay no attention to people that say that it can’t be done.

5. Work your butt off!

You never want to fail because you didn't worked hard enough, I never wanted to lose a competition or lose an election because I didn't work hard enough. I always believe leaving no stone unturned. It is important to have fun in life, but when you out there partying and messing around someone out there at the same time is working hard, someone is getting smarter and someone is winning. You can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in the pocket!

6. Giving back

Whatever path that you take in your life, you must always find time to give something back. Give something back to your community, give something back to your state or to your country. Reaching out and helping people will bring you more satisfaction than anything else you’ve ever done! 

Remember the 6 rules. Trust yourself, break some rules, don't be afraid to fail, ignore the naysayers, work like hell and give something back.

 By Arnold Schwarzenegger