By The E Islam Team
The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)
has said,"Almighty Allah says, 'I
treat my servant according to his expectations from Me, and I am with him when
he remembers me. If he remembers Me in his heart, I remember him in My heart…. if he walks towards Me, I run unto him." (Hadith-Qudsi)
Make this Ramadhaan
the month of "Change"..Are You Ready for it???
"Change" is the vogue today.
"Change" is being chanted by the Presidents to rally up public
support; "Change" is being demanded by the masses suffering due to
skyrocketing fuel and commodity prices; "Change", a drastic one
indeed, is what we are witnessing with awe in the global weather patterns.
For Muslims, Ramadhaan is the prime time for
change. This month dramatically alters our routines and schedules. From tight
sleep schedules, to hunger for extended hours, to reduction in consumption of
junk foods, to a technology diet; to withdrawal from caffeine addiction, to
lengthy standing in Taraweeh prayers at night, to extensive listening to the
Quran. What a change indeed!
Beyond Routines and
Rituals
The real change, however, Ramadhaan demands of us
is the internal change – a change that positively transforms our lifestyle,
character, attitudes, conversations, and habits. Allah has described this
change in the month of Ramadhaan as follows: "O you who believe, fasting has been ordained on you as it was
decreed upon those before you so that you may adopt Taqwa" (2:183 [Quran 2:183].
Slavery to Ramadhaan?
If our change is limited to outer physical
practices only, we become slaves to Ramadhaan, instead of being servants to
Ar-Rahman (Allah, the Merciful).
Prophet Muhammad has warned us about those who
don't fast from bad behaviour:
"Allah has no
interest in any person's abstention from eating and drinking, if that person
does not give up lying and dishonest actions" (Sahih al-Bukhari)
.
Ramadhaan Resolutions
Every Ramadhaan we make resolutions and tell
ourselves: "This Ramadhaan will be different. I'm going to change my
______ habit." "I will give up ………", "I will take my
practice of Islam to the next level". But how many of us are really able
to follow through? Plenty of good intentions, many amazing wishes, but sadly
enough, life goes on as usual the morning of Eid.
Ask yourself, how is my fasting benefitting my
spiritual connection with Allah? How is my extensive worship in Ramadhaan
helping me discipline my tongue (taste and speech), eyes, ears, and habits?
Are you ready to take that first step to
transform your bad habits into good ones?
Ways to Kick Bad Habits
Few things are more demanding than eliminating
bad habits, since they are part of our daily routines and personality. It takes
days of patience and practice to break old habits.
However, the good news is, Ramadhaan offers a
perfect and natural environment for moral training. Interestingly, researches
from "positive psychology" (scientific study of successful people)
have repeatedly shown it takes between 30 to 40 days to kick a bad habit and
develop a new one.
In addition to the physical discipline during the
month of Ramadhaan, the increased spiritual exercise and connection with Allah,
can transform your habits for life.
Try these proven techniques
for a successful positive change in your habits during Ramadhaan and beyond!
1. Acknowledge and Identify your bad habits: First step is to admit you need to change. If you are in a state of
denial, you won't recognize that you have a bad habit to change.
2. Pick a habit for this month: Prioritize your bad habits and focus on one for this month. If you
are committed to changing at least one habit, you will see remarkable results,
Allah-willing.
3. Realize that it's in us to change: Don't believe the old saying, "You can't teach an old dog new
tricks." You can break a bad habit if you really want to. No one else can
change your habits, if you don't want to.
4. Remember, Allah loves
those who commit mistakes and repent: The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
"By Him in Whose
Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allah would sweep you out of
existence and He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and
seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would have pardoned them." (Hadith -Sahih Muslim)
5. Intention & Plan to change: "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." A healthy
process of change in character requires a gradual pace, which entails planning.
Develop concrete milestones to measure your progress.
6. Replace a bad habit with a good one: Completely eliminating a habit is more challenging than replacing
it with a more productive habit. Moreover, it's crucial to replace the lost
natural needs, such as the need to socialize and to be entertained with
something healthy.
For instance, it's easier to replace your
addiction to TV with a physical workout or reading the Qur’aan or a good
Islamic book etc. Interestingly, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the
greatest 'psychologist' of humanity, illustrated this principle in these words:
"Fear Allah
wherever you may be; follow up an evil deed with a good one which will wipe
(the former) out, and behave good-naturedly towards people."(Hadith-At-Tirmidhi).
7. Change your Environment: Resist the negative peer pressure by finding a better company of
friends. Collective action to change is very powerful. Prophet Muhammad (peace
be upon him) explained this peer pressure effect with the analogy:
"A good friend and
a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller
might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at
least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your
clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the
furnace." (Hadith-Sahih al-Bukhari & Muslim)
8. Exercise: Spiritual exercise is important for lasting change. You may not
realize that by exerting your yourself in spiritual exercises like the reading
of Qur’an and Hadith, fasting, giving charity, Zikr(remembering Allah),Spending
time in the Path of Allah etc helps in eliminating a number of bad habits.
Through the spiritual light of doing noble deeds, evil ones will gradually be
eradicated from your life. Allah says : "Indeed, Salah
restrains from Shameful and unjust deeds"(Quran:29:45). A person complained to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
about someone who read salaah and also committed theft .The Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) said "His salaat will very soon wean him off that sin.' This shows that the evil habits can be got rid of by adhering to good practises. The doing
of good deeds such as remembering Allah cleanses the heart. A clean heart
encourages a person to do good deeds and refrains one from evil habits!
Moreover, exercising your will power (struggle to
fight temptations) for this month helps you kick all kinds of bad habits and
form new good ones. Willpower is like a muscle; the more you exercise it, the
more you strengthen it.
9. Think of yourself as a changed, different, new person. This simple psychological shift in your thinking about your own
image can do wonders. Tell yourself, "I can't continue this ill-behaviour.
I am better than that. I am stronger. I am wiser."
10. Reward success: The most fundamental law in all of psychology is the "law of
effect." It simply states that actions followed by rewards are
strengthened and likely to recur. Unfortunately, studies show that people
rarely use this technique when trying to change personal habits.
Setting up formal or informal rewards for success
greatly increases your chances of transforming bad habits into good ones, and
is far more effective than punishing yourself for bad habits or setbacks. As
Muslims we should also remember that the ultimate reward is Allah's Pleasure
and Paradise in the Hereafter.
11. Get help: Tell someone about your
effort to change if it helps. He or she may keep you on track and may offer some good advice.
Read books that will encourage you to do virtues actions. Join the various
(amaal) programs in your local Musjid. Ladies should endeavour to join their
local Taalimi Halqas. There are good and sincere people who are ready to
assist. We are not an island- We are an Ummah!
12. Boost your spiritual immune system: By
fasting,doing good actions,Itikaaf(seclusion), spending time in the Musjid with
the pious friends of Allah or going in the Path of Allah will boost your Imaan
which will provide you with internal strength to overcome temptations to
reverting to old bad habits.
13. Remind yourself of Death and Hereafter often: "Remember often the terminator (or destroyer) of all the
pleasures(i.e. death)," the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)once stated.
(Hadith-At-Tirmidhi.)
14. Resolve to continue on and follow up: Giving up bad habits or learning good habits requires regular
maintenance and determination. It is a long, ongoing process, also known as
"Tazkiyyah" in Islamic terminology. It's more difficult than the
first few steps of change. ("How many times have I dieted, for example,
only to gain the weight back?"). So ensure that you follow up. Link
yourself to a good Allah-fearing Islamic Scholar, make a habit of spending time
in the Path of Allah and constantly engage in noble and charitable work.
15. Develop a relapse strategy: How do you ensure not to return to your bad habit you are trying to
change? Some people donate money to a good cause every time they return to
sinning or a bad habit. This reminds them of the 'cost' of going back to old
bad habits. Others try physically demanding acts to deter them from reverting
to old ways. For example that if you do___ act than you will keep three fast or
pay so much sadaqah(charity) etc
16. Ask Allah for Help (Dua): MOST IMPORTANT!-Make Asking for Allah's
Help an integral part of the overall change process. Ask for Allah's Help
before, during and after every attempt at kicking a bad habit. Do so sincerely,
even begging and crying, like a child does when he or she really wants
something. Allah is Ever-Willing to Help and to Respond to our needs, but it is
us who must take the first step towards Him. Allah will NEVER disappoint us!
Allah Ta’ala says “ Ask me, and I will answer your call…” (Quran 40:60)
"And
whosoever is conscious of Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He (Allah) will make
a way for him to get out (from) every (difficulty), and He will provide him
from (sources) he could never imagine." (Quran 65:2-3)
So surely you Can do it!!!…Just Trust and Pray
to Allah and make that great change this Ramadhaan!
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