Monday, 29 July 2019

Rise and shine..



Like the sun, rises each morning from the darkness, weak and meek, growing in strength to reach our full potential.

Rise and shine! Alhamdulillah for another day to glorify our Lord, another day to beg His forgiveness, another opportunity to change the wrongs to rights, the turmoil to peace and to find what you looking for... 

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire 

Friday, 26 July 2019

Review of the Journaling Workshop hosted by Celeste du Toit



Looking back at yesterday and the phenomenal results, I'm left with a positive force of energy that's simply amazing. 
My initial reason for wanting to attend the Journaling Workshop was to get totally past the block of writing, that had built up over the years. The past few weeks, words started to come out in dribs and drabs, as did thoughts that were pushed way back into no man's land in my head. But the flow that I had experienced before was not there, so I arranged with Celeste at the last minute to attend and re-arranged my busy work schedule so there would be no excuse to back out. 
The first thing that was just awesome was the environment. Calissa Lodge lies in Westville, near the freeway, yet the setting is one that exudes peace and Tranquility. Just being there made me feel relaxed and somewhat settled in my being. 
The group consisted of ladies from different walks of life. Although strangers, we all felt comfortable in each other's company and easily got acquainted. 
We introduced ourselves by identifying ourself with an animal. At first it felt strange, yet when each person spoke, one could see the elements of that animal exuding from that person's persona. 
From there we learnt more than alot about each other with many of us identifying with the others issue or plight. 
We then went on an exercise of self awareness. In those minutes of silence, simply concentrating on our breathing, taking in the sounds, and smells around us, the peace and tranquility of our surroundings seemed to settle our inner self. A sense of calm took over and all the baggage we walked in with simply fell away. 
Automatically as if by magic, positivity surrounded us. The writing exercises that followed were simply a flow of positive energy, positive thoughts and a sense of self awareness, self realization simply took over. 
The blockages seemed to simply have dissolved into the air with the simple act of closing our eyes and breathing. Like with each breath I let out the negativity was expelled and all I Inhaled was the goodness, the beauty and peace and serenity of my surroundings. 
For someone that has been so concentrated on the people that have wronged me, the pains that i experience from it physically and emotionally, and the perpetrators non acceptance of their actions, I suddenly felt burdenless. I felt lighter. The world seemed brighter. 
Words, thoughts, flowed articulating the present rather than the past. 
Ultimately, for me the workshop was a road to self realization. It increased my sense of awareness of the world around me and the awareness of my inner self. I realised that I am in control of the blockages in my life and I have the power to unblock what is hindering my progress and growth. 
This is the start of a journey of putting pen to paper. 
A simple Journaling workshop that we all left with, feeling highly motivated and highly empowered. 


I'll be sharing further snippets of the event on my social media platforms as well as my writings and a further bio on the host, life coach Celeste du Toit. If you don't want to miss any of it simply go to my blog www.durbanmuslima.co.za and subscribe and you will me on the mailing list to receive my postings. 

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire #journalingworkshop 





Family...


Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson


it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.


It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.


We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

talented and fabulous?


Actually, who are you not to be?


You are a child of God.


Your playing small does not serve the world.


There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other


people won't feel insecure around you.


We were born to make manifest the glory of

God that is within us.


It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.


And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people

permission to do the same.


As we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.


—Marianne Williamson


Often said to have been quoted in a speech by Nelson Mandela. The source is Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, Harper Collins, 1992. —Peter McLaughlin

Thursday, 25 July 2019

Fibromyalgia.. Some of the symptoms



Some of the symptoms of fibromyalgia.. Looks like your common everyday symptoms and so often we simply overlook it. Yet combined the symptoms cause many to become debilitated. At many times I've experienced that western meds just seem to aggregate the symptoms even more... My secret to fighting fibromyalgia.. Drag yourself out of bed and get to work, tumeric in warm water with blk pepper nd honey.. Take it daily, western meds keep it as a last resort, keep the mind and body occupied, don't give into the pain and symptoms, once you do it will take over you and your body. Give yourself a day off when you feel down, put and drained but after that days over get up and get out. 

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire #fibrofighter 

Wednesday, 24 July 2019

Improve your state of mind



Keep expectations to a minimum and you will keep your disappointments to a minimum, hence improving your state of mind.
#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire

Sunday, 21 July 2019

Six rules of happiness:

By Mufti Ismail Menk

1. Don't hate others simply because they have wronged you.
2. Combat worry by having hope in the Almighty and praying excessively.
3. Live simply no matter how high your status may rise.
4. Expect goodness no matter how many tests you may face.
5. Be generous even if you feel a slight loss.
6. Smile, even if your heart may be sad.

Reflections from the Quran

*_Libasut Taqwa❤_*
    
✨Welcomes You To Join Us:

 ðŸŒ¹ _*Every Monday*_
_*Reflections From The Quraan*_
_🌸Connecting You To Your RABB_

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
🌸 _*Date:*_
_*Monday  22 July 2019*_
🌸 *Venue: 77 College Road, Asherville* 
🌸 *Time : 11am - 12pm*
🌸 _Females Only_

  📞: 0827866854

🌸 _Model With Us On_
      _Ramp To Jannah_🌸

Thursday, 18 July 2019

One moment in time...



The greatest blessing in my life.. Are my parents.. May my daddy be amongst the best in jannat and may my mummy enjoy her days in peace, good health and happiness.. Insha Allah Ameen.

Yesterday everyone took a moment to remember the greatness on Mandela, On this blessed day of Jummah, I ask you to take a moment to remember the greatness of your parents whom we so often simply take for granted.
We so busy capturing today's moments - where We are, what we doing, who we with... yet yesterday all they captured was us, us and us.
Take a moment today on your social media to acknowledge them and their greatness... #ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire #parentsareeverything

Tuesday, 16 July 2019

It's your choice!



Lol, I jus block.. Then like 12 year Olds they complain to my mummy... Allowing people to add their toxicity to your life its a matter of choice! I choose not to allow anyone's misery spoil my life.. Cos every moment is precious and any moment could be your last. So choose who and what you want in your life. And see the change it will bring you.

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire 

Quick to Judge...



We are so quick to judge yet we bow down in salaah in obedience to our Lord accepting Him to be our only Judge.

We are so quick to assume that the man that never publicly gave his wealth in the name of zakaat to have not given zakaat at all yet only he knows what he did in secret, for what we give out is not for advertising purposes, it's between you and your Lord. 

We are so so quick to call a man whose money is in a western bank haraam due to its interest bearing schemes, yet we too have accounts in western banks, insurance policies, investments etc.

We are so quick to advertise the good that we do for someone else when we are supposed to these things not for accolades but for the sake of Allah.

Quick to judge!
Quick to assume!

Before pointing fingers at others we should look at ourselves, our actions, our haraam and halaal activities, shouldn't we?

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire 

Sunday, 14 July 2019

You never know...



🌱🌱🌱Six years since the demise of Maulāna Yunus Patel رحمة الله عليه. One of Hadhrat Maulanas favourite Quote to reflect on: 
_*“Strange is the VISA of life-It can be cancelled at anytime. The duration of its validity unknown, and its Extension too is impossible."*_

Moulana Yunus Patel of Durban South Africa passed away in the haram of Makkah Tuesday, 12 July 2011 and is buried in jannatul Mu'alla amongst the great Sahaabah and Sahaabiyyaat (raadhiyallahu anhum). Salaatul Janaazah was performed by Shaykh Shuraim in the Haram Shareef of Makkah al-Mukarramah.

May Allah enlighten his qabr and grant all those who have passed away the highest stages of jannah.

Below is An SMS which Moulana sent to his children from madina Munawwarah few days prior to his demise

Sweet Madina, Sweet Madina…
Very, very sweet.
On the way to Musjid-e-Nabawi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), on our feet, Thousands of Muslims to greet and meet.

At the Raudha Mubarak, 
Durood and Salaam to read,
At Iftaar, Zam Zam to drink and dates to eat.

Allah Ta’ala and Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s advices, we should heed : Take care of the widows, orphans and those in need;

The poor and hungry, we must feed, Purify the hearts from jealousy, malice, pride and greed,

To Allah we must plead…that from Hellfire, we be freed.

Now take your time and read,
Longest sms from me you have ever received;

Do a good deed; Forward to Allah Ta’ala with speed -A dua for this servant of His, in need,

Kaash Madina ab watan hota. Yaha jeeta, yaha marta Yaha goro kafan hota.* With Salaams, love and duas
Your father,
Yunus Patel * How I wish Madina Sharief was my place of residence,
that I live here, die here; my kafan and burial take place here. *_-Inspiring Pearls_*🌱🌱🌱
#lifereminders #livingthelegacy #dunya #akhirah #jannah #deenoverdunya #islam  #southafricanmuslims 🇿🇦

Daddys little girl



The day my daddy came home to tell us the cancer was back and there's. NOthing the drs could do, he sat on the sofa, holding his head in his hands, tears in his eyes. It was one of the times my heart broke. Little did I know th e journey thereafter with him and his illness slowly but steadily breaking him broke me into a million pieces.
The pain of seeing a loved one wither away never goes away.
There's always a thought... 'if only I did this', 'if only I had more time'.
All I know is I tried my best to keep him happy.
He often comes in my dreams all happy and jovial.. Telling me I must not worry, that he's with me and so much more

My dad was and always will be my first love.. I cannot wait to re-unite with u more than anyone. 
#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire #daddyslittlegirl

Mummy dearest



My mummy on her wedding day... Wish I was there to see her, but for now the pic will have to do. An  school leaver, and daughter of a tailor, she was a self-taught dressmaker from watching her daddy. At the the age of 19 when she married, she sewed the beautiful lace gown herself for her wedding. One of the first weddings to have been held at a hall, she set the trend in the family henceforth and sewed many a wedding dress for family members.
The dress although frayed due to not being kept well, still exists and me and my girls have all wore it and did pics in it. It fits each of us like a glove.
I begged her to stitch me the same gown for my wedding but years later she cudnt remember the intricate detail of ita pattern work.
A legend in her own right and still as creative and smart as ever, my mummy remains an enigma in my life.. A woman that has aged but still exudes the same style and grace that she had in her young days.

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire #LivinglifeToTheFullest 

Friday, 12 July 2019

Theres always a bully...


I was born into a happy family, a family that doted on me as I was the late baby. But in stepped one jealous person, a bully that came from a broken background that tried to destroy and shatter every little joy and happiness.
It was little things that mattered. Thta brought joy and happiness. My daddy left work at the age of 14 to help his dad support his siblings. He married at 19 and worked hard to build a good life and when I was born his life was set. He had his own home, car, he gave his kids an education and me, I was the apple of his eye. But just like in fairy tales there's always a villain. A bully that can't see anyone else happy. He destroyed our happy family. My daddy would cry in secret at his helplessness.
When one is young, we don't understand the dynamics of parenthood, the responsibilities.
His reputation, his word, his character was everything to him.
I grew up as a quiet, timid young girl, having to Be coaxed to speak. As I grew up I learnt to Speak out. I learnt that keeping silent in some instances gave bullys more rope to hang you.
I learnt that no matter how juicy the carrot they dangle in front of you, the grass is not greener on the other side.. Like little red rising hood, the wolf in disguise is waiting to destroy you.

I saved myself, but I couldn't save the others... Others got taken in and died broken, betrayed and lost....

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire





You see people going for these amazing facials and treatments, which is great on the outside, but the secret to great skincare is also what you ingest. Many of us just don't have the time to eat right and end up in the fast food race. Hence its so important to take supplements to keep our skin healthy and make all the topical treatments worthwhile. And these Glutathione tabs are in special so get them now and save. 

I just started with these and they awsum. I did hav a RetiPeel at Perfectly Porcelain that I can only describe as the Rolls Royce in skin peels. My skin literally peeled for about a week. I saw skin hanging off my face without any redness or sensitivity. It revealed skin that was lighter and brighter, literally took years off. There's no peel That can come close to This in results. 

At the same time I took a face cream from Perfectly Porcelain that's been just perfect, not oily or greasy and keeping the winter dryness at bay that I usually suffer with in these months.

I also started with the glutathione tabs which I'm not consistent with but with the combo of three I  can face the world bare-faced.

Ive hated the caked and Porcelain  look that's the goin trend so I'm anti foundation and use a light concealer only on occasion, so I love the fresh faced look That the treatment and tabs give me. The cream is just perfect too.

But ladies Always use a sunblock, irrespective if u indoors all day or even if u are in niqab, sunblock is a must-have.

I generally go to Fatima of Perfectly Porcelain and she decides on what treatment I need, so do ask her for expert advice as she has many treatments for different skin issues.

They are conveniently situated in Overport. For bookings call or watsapp 0718393478

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire
#perfectlyporcelain #review 

Brokenness...



There is a strangeness in life, in moments, in circumstances.. They say what you give out is what you get back. They also say in your hard times you see people's true colours.
My whole life I watched abuse, as young as I was as I grew i began to fight the perpetrator, standing up against him, standing up for my loved one.. Yet when the tables turned i was alone fighting my battles. The people I fought for, the people I stood up for, the people I loved left me, with these words "How can you be so irresponsible".
My reply was happiness and unhappiness is a choice. I choose to be happy and not live in misery.
At the same time I was battling with health issues and I was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
Through my bouts of extreme pain that emotional strains just worsened, Allah had brought into my life two strangers that were angels that helped me in my worst moments. 
The battle of life continues.
And i will share snippets as i continue this journey of life.

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire 

Thursday, 11 July 2019

Gracefully Broken!




I was in a supermarket last night and there was a lady and two kids behind me in the LONG line. One was a big kid, one was a toddler. The bigger one had a pack of glow sticks and the baby was screaming for them so the Mom opened the pack and gave him one, which stopped his tears. He walked around with it smiling, but then the bigger boy took it and the baby started screaming again. Just as the Mom was about to fuss at the older child, he bent the glow sticks and handed it back to the baby. As we walked outside at the same time, the baby noticed that the stick was now glowing and his brother said "I had to break it so you could get the full effect from it." I almost ran because l could hear God saying to me, "I had to break you to show you why I created you. You had to go through it so you could fulfill your purpose." 

That little baby was happy just swinging that "unbroken" glow stick around in the air because he didn't understand what it was created to do...which was "glow". There are some people who will be content just "being", but some of us that God has chosen, we have to be "broken". 

We have to get sick. We have to lose a job. We have to bury our spouse, parents, best friend, or our child because, in those moments of desperation, God is breaking us but when the breaking is done, then we will be able to see the reason for which we were created.

#ShireenM #DurbanMuslima #AspiringToInspire 

Love Affair


14 short stories about life....



1. Fall and Rise

Today, when I slipped on the wet tile floor a boy in a wheelchair caught me before I slammed my head on the ground. He said, “Believe it or not, that’s almost exactly how I injured my back 3 years ago .

2. A father’s advice

Today, my father told me, “Just go for it and give it a try! You don’t have to be a professional to build a successful product. Amateurs started Google and Apple. Professionals built the Titanic

3. The power of uniqueness.

Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his 70’s – what his top 3 tips are for success. He smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.

4. Looking Back

Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working on for my Psychology class. When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.

5. Try and U shall know

I am blind by birth. When I was 8 years old, I wanted to play baseball. I asked my father- “Dad, can I play baseball?” He said “You’ll never know until you try.” When I was a teenager, I asked him, – “Dad Can I become a surgeon?”. He replied “Son, you’ll never know until you try.” Today I am a Surgeon, just because I tried!

6. GOODNESS & GRATITUDE

Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”

7. LOVE CONQUERS PAIN

Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.

8. A DOOR CLOSES TO OPEN ANOTHER

Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work. At 3PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got a flat tire. When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too. A man in a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job. I start tomorrow.

9. LOOKING BACK

Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.”

10. AFFECTION

Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed. About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.

11. INNOCENCE

Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, “Why?” She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.” I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?” “Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.

12. JOY

Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics, I suddenly realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.

13. KINDNESS

Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me. He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better soon.”.

14. SHARING

Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy. Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating. The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.”

Cheers to life.
Each one of them has a message...
1. Fall and Rise

Today, when I slipped on the wet tile floor a boy in a wheelchair caught me before I slammed my head on the ground. He said, “Believe it or not, that’s almost exactly how I injured my back 3 years ago .

2. A father’s advice

Today, my father told me, “Just go for it and give it a try! You don’t have to be a professional to build a successful product. Amateurs started Google and Apple. Professionals built the Titanic

3. The power of uniqueness.

Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his 70’s – what his top 3 tips are for success. He smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.

4. Looking Back

Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working on for my Psychology class. When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.

5. Try and U shall know

I am blind by birth. When I was 8 years old, I wanted to play baseball. I asked my father- “Dad, can I play baseball?” He said “You’ll never know until you try.” When I was a teenager, I asked him, – “Dad Can I become a surgeon?”. He replied “Son, you’ll never know until you try.” Today I am a Surgeon, just because I tried!

6. GOODNESS & GRATITUDE

Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”

7. LOVE CONQUERS PAIN

Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.

8. A DOOR CLOSES TO OPEN ANOTHER

Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work. At 3PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got a flat tire. When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too. A man in a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job. I start tomorrow.

9. LOOKING BACK

Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.”

10. AFFECTION

Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed. About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.

11. INNOCENCE

Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, “Why?” She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.” I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?” “Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.

12. JOY

Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics, I suddenly realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.

13. KINDNESS

Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me. He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better soon.”.

14. SHARING

Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy. Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating. The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.”

Cheers to life.
Each one of them has a message...

Wednesday, 10 July 2019

Blessings in disguise..


Jealousy walked me out of my marriage of 25 years 
I am a very charming lady and that makes me proud,and so full of myself.
my husband is a good Muslim man he is so kind handsome and lovely. we got married very young I was 17 and he was 22.
Our marriage is blessed with five kids two boys and three pretty girls .
We live happily and comfortable with my husband until he brought the issues of adding a sister.
I was devastated when he brought the issues after 25 years of being together. 
I couldn't withstand it especially when he told me she's very educated both Islamic and wastern education, she's  working well and earning comfortably
I felt cheated because he refused me to proceed my education when I intended to study further.
He begged me to be a house wife, I mean full house wife which I agreed because I love my husband so much and I want to earn jannah through my marriage.
But in the case of adding a wife I felt so uncomfortable and pressure to the extent I begged  him to divorce me so that I would get a rest. 
I could remember he was so sad and pleaded for me not to leave, but my heart was made up already I even threatened to sue him If he refused to divorce me. 
My friends all supported me to leave which I foolishly left my matrimonial home of 25 years.

I moved and relocated to another state, settled and started a small scale business just to keep myself busy.

My husband on the other hand settled with his new wife and she became the mother of my children, Fahad is my first born and he's almost done with his studies in the university, Maryam, my second daughter is in same university with her brother Fahad. The rest are all in secondary school when I left my home.

Two months after I left my home, I felt serious empty and lonely, all my friends that advised me to leave still continued with their marriage and they stopped calling or asking about me.
I hardly got new friends so I decided to join Madrosah to keep myself busy.
My kids visit me time to time and they always told me how good aunty Jamila (name of their father's new wife) is to them.
She bought new wears for them always and take them out every weekend.

My husband and my first son 
 still insisted I should come  back but I refused.

Years later, I felt so much lonely, I wish my parents were alive I wish I had siblings but I'm all alone. 
My little business kept falling, so I decided to marry my mu'alim in madrosah. He already had three wives, then I became the fourth. But I felt  appreciated since I was no longer lonely again. I only pleaded for him to rent a new house for me which he agreed at first but after a year of marriage he changed totally and told me he couldn't afford paying rent for me rather I should join his three wives or I  live.  
Without option, I decided to join his wives. He had more than 20 children, the house was so full, living with his co-wives was never easy, and in my own case they ganged against me, made jest of me and mocked me almost everyday.
The house became a living hell for me 
I cried out to my Lord because I knew I was punished for leaving my first husband and children behind out of jealousy .
I observed tahajjud every night, cried and sought repentance.

One beautiful Friday my first son Fahad came with  good news that his father wife decided to resign her work and face her marriage completely, so she pleaded for my son to be employed in the company  which they did out of respect for her dedication towards the company, 
Fahad promised to buy a house for me so that I could  live comfortably. 
Six months after he started work, he bought new house for me and set up a good business for me.
My life changed and I got much respect from my co-wives and even my husband. 
I respected sister Jamila because she is so kind I wished I didn't leave my marriage.
She got two of my daughters married to good Muslim young men. She's so strong, kind and God fearing. I'm actually sharing this because of a post I read about a lady that wanted to leave her marriage cos her husband wanted  to add a wife 
Please sisters we should rely on our Lord and accept qadar either good or bad 
Marriage is all about patience and sacrifice. Some second wives might be blessings in disguise for homes. 


Author unknown

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

Life beyond marriage



As the eldest of four siblings and the only daughter, I grew up like a tomboy. I played kabbadi, loved cycling, and was quite mischievous growing up. But when I was 18, I couldn’t escape the path laid out for girls in our community. A proposal had come in and Appa knew the family. He was their financial advisor. It was all decided. They asked me to continue my education through correspondence. That was that. We got married in June 1990.

I soon realised there was problems under the surface. His father wanted us to live alone and wasn’t willing to support his son. Everyone in my husband’s family turned against him. It was around then that I became pregnant with my first child. I dropped out of the BCom course I had enrolled in.

It was October 1990. With my father’s guidance and support, I pledged my jewellery, ignored my father-in-law’s instructions to give him the money, and helped my husband start up a ‘papad’ business.  Seeing our success, my in-laws patched up, but when I went to deliver my baby, they convinced him to write off the business to them saying the baby girl would bring him bad luck. Six months and many hours of fighting later, we got the business back in July 1992. We broke even as Butterfly Appalams in 1993, the same year I delivered our second daughter.

In 1996, my in-laws began looking for another girl for my husband, a girl who could give him a son. It only got worse after the birth of our third daughter. My husband had started drinking and seeing other women. When I told my in-laws about his affairs, they laughed. He was a man and could do as he pleased, especially since I could not give him a baby boy.

In 2000, our fourth child was born; a boy. There was celebration in the house, and my father-in-law even distributed a bottle of imported liquor to every house in our village.  

In 2003, after I refused to ask my father for a portion of his wealth, my in-laws came home and told my eldest daughter that she was meant to marry her cousin. She was 13, he was 20. I revolted. They put her under house arrest. I sent a note to the school principal who informed the police. A complaint was launched against my husband and in-laws. They beat me black and blue, and threw me out of the house. My two-and-a-half year old son was a witness. Police thought I fell down the stairs but my son told them that Appa beat Amma. A complaint was filed. I moved with my kids to my parents’ house. I couldn’t walk for a year and a half.

In 2004, I filed for divorce. It was 2007 before I finally got it. I began working to support my family and we were at peace, even though my ex-husband would occasionally threaten the kids. With his parents facing a legal battle and the business collapsing, he was a mess. He’d follow me to work and create a ruckus. I shifted four houses to throw him off.

In 2011, he came and asked for a compromise. He wanted me to withdraw the dowry harassment case. My children convinced me to give our marriage a second chance and we began staying together. The first month was good but slowly, things began deteriorating. I also began to notice he was sick. His blood test came back HIV+ and we started staying separately. 

On February 9th 2012, he suddenly came home drunk. He said he was hungry and I agreed to cook for him. He said it wasn’t that hunger and tugged at my sari. I was terrified. I screamed. My second daughter came to my aid. He said if I wasn’t going to join him, she’d have to. He pulled her dupatta, took her into a room, and began molesting her. I don’t know what came over me. I grabbed my son’s bat, broke open a window, and hit the man until he let go of my daughter. Until he stopped moving. I was contemplating suicide and when the cops came, I didn’t know what to say. 

The case was booked under Section 302. After investigation for the first time in Tamil Nadu, Section 100 was invoked. As per the law, if the death is caused because of ‘private defence’ to prevent or escape rape or murder, it is not tried as murder. I had received a new lease of life. 

I had supported my husband irrespective of his behaviour because as women we are always told to adjust. But in 2012 when he tried to rape my daughter, I didn't hesitate to protect her over him. 
Women should not endure alcoholic abuse. They should not adjust with a bad marriage. They should stand up for themselves. There is a life beyond marriage where every one can realise their dreams.

Waiting for the apology...

I love my wife but satan makes me fight with her all the time 

Wifey and I had a little argument over breakfast on Monday morning while we were both preparing for the day's job.

***
My anger was with the way she spread the butter on the bread that morning, it was quite rough and not pleasing to the eyes though I corrected her with my voice sounding like a thunder all over the room but I never knew it would lead to this, if I had known, I would have overlooked and ate the bread without uttering a word after all, I ate it still.

***
Hearing the way I rose my voice at her, really made her mad and she left the dinning without having breakfast that morning and off she went to work without me that day not even saying goodbye to each other. 

***
I was mad, she was mad too and our mistake was that none of us was willing to come to like terms... 

===
We returned from work that evening without talking to each other, we had dinner separately and went to bed without exchanging pleasantries. 

===
Tuesday came and went so was Wednesday and Thursday morning. 

***
Thursday evening at dinner, she said HI but I was too proud to respond so I mumbled on my meal and left the table hurriedly but all along, she was simply  smiling at her "Baby Husband ".

===
Wifey is truly a great beauty to behold. Her smiles melts every tough heart so in a bid to avoid "falling my own hands ", I hurriedly left the table... 
 
If at all we'll end this war, she'll be the one to say sorry, not me.
I won't let her beauty lure me into saying sorry - these I murmured as I left the dinning to the bedroom...

She kept smiling. 

===
She got into the room and straight she went into the bathroom, while bathing she kept singing. 

If we were in good terms, I'd have sing along since that was my favorite song but my pride robbed me the opportunity to end the drama I had with her.
Before she could get to bed that night I was fast asleep...

===
It was some minutes past 3am that Friday morning when I felt her hands on my body tapping me non stop. I quickly pushed her hands away and got myself covered with the blanket...

***
Sincerely, I thought she was tapping me just to get into Holy Land, I never knew that would be the last time I'll feel her touch.

***
I fell asleep in the process and woke up fifteen minutes past 7am and I quickly dived into the bathroom cos we were almost late for work, I woke up got dressed, had breakfast and Wifey was fast asleep still, my pride never gave me the opportunity to talk to her so I left her in bed and off I went to work.

===
Long story cut short, I returned home on Friday evening meeting virtually everything at the same spot I left it that morning.

***
The doors were wide open, the table was left unkept... 

A cold chill ran through my vein... 

===
I dived for the stairs, having my Wife in heart... 

***
On getting to the room, the door was wide open, Wifey was still in bed: at the same position I left her before leaving the house that morning. 

***
My phone fell from my hand as I muttered indistinctly rushing towards her...

***
"Baby" I stuttered as my  hands went all over her...

Her body was cold.

***
I never knew when I peed on my trousers...

I placed my head on her chest and realized she wasn't breathing... 

I shouted the name of Allah at the top of my voice as I brought her closer to me having her in my arms. 

My Baby was gone already.
There was no life in her.
Her body was terribly cold... 

***
It was still like a movie to me not until her body was being laid to rest: at that moment I realized my Wife died on my bed... 

I couldn't cry yet I still couldn't laugh.  My head was spinning like I was gonna go mad anytime soon... 

I feel terrible on the inside, if only I could turn back the hands of time... 

===
Wifey was asthmatic: when she was tapping me that morning, she was having a crisis which only her inhaler could solve. 

She was probably tapping me to help get it for her but my pride kept me away...

***
I lost the Woman I truly love to the cold hands of death carelessly.  

===
He was truly sorry but that never changed the fact that his beloved Wife was dead...

Consoling him was really difficult because his tears was great. 

===
Bottom Line: Dear Courting and Married people, never should you let the night fall without settling that misunderstanding between your spouse and you.

REMEMBER THE WORDS OF ALLAH/ROSULULLAHI  WHICH SAYS NEVER GOES TO BED WITH 
GRUDGE'S/ANGER IN YOUR HEART.

Never give the Devil a chance to prove himself in your home and relationship. 

Your spouse is your partner, not your competitor.

No one has ever been awarded for being the best grudge keeper. 

***
Wise people keep their home and relationship, careless people gives the Devil a chance to prove himself.

Tuesday, 2 July 2019

THE TASTE OF CANDY



There was an old man who was admitted in a hospital.

A young man was visiting him every day, and sits with him for more than one hour. He helps him eat his food, and to take his shower.

Then he takes him walking in the garden of the hospital. After that he brings him back to his room and helps him to lie down. He goes away after reassuring himself that the old man is doing well.

One day the nurse entered his room, to give him medicine and inspect his condition, and said to him:

"May Allah be always gracious to your kind and caring son. Every day he visits you and shows great care."
The old man looked at her and closed his eyes and said to her:

"I wish it was one of my children. This is an orphan from the neighborhood where we live. I met him one day in the past, crying at the door of a Masjid, after his father died. I comforted him and bought him candy. I neither saw him nor talked to him for a very long time.
 
When he grew up and came to discover where my wife and I were living. He was visiting us every day to inspect our conditions. When I later fell sick, he took my old wife to his home. He then comes to the hospital to see my treatment
 everyday. One day I asked him:
 "My son why do you have to deal with us and care about us?" 

He simply smiled and then  said: "The taste of the candy is still in my mouth."

Moral:
Plant well, if you do, even if it is not on your place, Allah will not Forget the beautiful deed wherever you have planted it.

A beautiful deed will only be harvested by those who planted it, no matter how long it takes.

Yaa RABB, grant us amongst those who plant seeds of Goodness...and show kindness and  compassion to those in need - Ameen