Tuesday, 28 April 2020

TORN BETWEEN LOOSING A PART OF MY HEART AND A PART OF MY BODY


One rainy Sunday afternoon , a few years ago, we were driving on the N3 highway heading towards Durban. A few kilometres before the Marianhill toll, we hit a water patch. My dad lost control of the car. It spun a few times and landed into the barriers on the side of the road. All I remember, is the car spinning and trees on the windscreen. Everything else was a blur to me. 

I then remember some paramedics pulling me out of the car, and I found myself lying on the side of the road. I was numb. They ripped off my cloak and Alhamdulillah, luckily for me, I was wearing a T-shirt underneath. They put me on a stretcher. As soon as I was placed into the ambulance, my sisters were there for me and they continued to read durood shareef and the kalimah.

I felt some pain in my ankle and with closed eyes, I begged them to rub my ankle. The paramedic asked them not to touch me and this frustrated me to the point that I lost consciousness.

Some time later, my eyes opened to the sound of beeping machines and bright lights. Where was I? After a long time, I realized that I was at a hospital. I saw a nurse and 2 doctors who had asked me a few questions. I was confused and afraid. I then saw my aunt, and chatting to her brought much calm to me, in the middle of my storm. 

At midnight, I was wheeled into theatre with a team of 15 doctors and nurses who attended to me. They worked on me throughout the night. I was in a very critical condition. In fact, there were multiple times when they thought they had lost me. My chances of survival were slim, or so they thought.

For the next 2 days, I was in a coma. I remember crying when I woke up and the first thing I had asked for was my beloved mother. I then asked for my father and my sisters. When I saw them I asked : “Mummy?” and my father broke the most painful news to me: *"She has passed away"*.

That was the most heart breaking sentence I ever heard. My love, my life, my pillar of support, my strength, my confidant.

Somehow, I had a feeling she had passed away, but I needed someone to tell me it wasn't true.

I asked, sobbing: "Muhammed?" and before they could say anything, I told them that I knew he had passed away too. Muhammed was my four year old brother, who was the light of my life and delight of my heart. Little Muhammed had passed away at the accident site and was with my mummy. 

While I was in hospital, every doctor and nurse would look at me and say *“This is our miracle child.”* I never understood why, until 2 weeks later when my father told me that when the mortuary van came, they said "There are three bodies". My vital signs were zero and all the lines were flat. I believe that this is a second chance of life gifted to me by Allah. 

I was taken to theatre yet again. I had a deep cut on my right shoulder, I lost my left hand and broke my femur bone in 3 places. My thigh was ripped open and my ankle was crushed. I was given a high dosage of morphine, so Alhamdulillah I wasn’t in much pain. I was in hospital for a total of 35 days and visited theatre 13 times during my stay. 

Physio was really painful. Some days, I would pretend to be asleep when the Physiotherapist arrived. At times, they would force me to do it and other times, they would leave me to sleep.

I also had skin graph done. I had a machine, attached to my legs to drain the fluid.

I am thankful to Allaah that for 20 days I was on the bed, I then used the wheelchair for one month, and for a few months thereafter, I used the walking stick. After that, I walked with an uncomfortable limp for many months. With Allahs help and a lot of painful physio, I made it through, Alhamdulillah. 

Whilst I was in hospital, I never spoke about the accident or my mother because I would get very emotional and my pressure would go up and that meant my operations would get delayed, which meant staying in the hospital for a longer time. Sometimes, I wonder how I made it through. 

I must admit that through everything, there is much for me to be grateful for. Before the accident, I would hardly think of death and Jannah and Jahannum, but now, I keep thinking “Will I be happy to die in this situation? Is my Rabb pleased with me? Have I worked hard enough to reach Jannah?” 

I used to get a lot of visitors, sometimes too much to handle. I would sometimes pretend to be asleep or tell them that I didn't want to see people.

I am so blessed to have my sister by my side. She was and is the only one I can take my frustration out on. My father and uncles would sit at my side and recite Quraan, this brought alot of peace to me. 

Initially, I did not manage to read my salaah but Alhamdullilah after that, I did not miss a single salaah. I used to read salaah while lying on the bed and I would make tayamum. When I was on the ventilator, my family told me that I kept on waking up and asking if I could read my fajr salaah, as I was afraid to miss my salaah. Eventually the nurses asked them to allow me to read my salaah, as it was not good for me to be waking up with worry. Hearing this made me happy that even in that condition I was still aware of my salaah. May ALLAH keep us all steadfast on our Salaah. Aameen. 

As far as my current situation is concerned, Alhamdullilah, I manage to do everything, in spite of having just one hand. With time, I started to master things. I got so used to doing things with one hand, that I sometimes wonder “How do you do it with 2 hands?” it's only with the help of Allah, that I can shower on my own, dress and even tie my scarf all by myself. I make my own bed, clean and do household chores. I cook and do all the preparations for cooking, like cutting vegetables and cleaning meat. I have a few things, like cutting boards etc. that help to support the vegetables and hold it in place so I can slice. I remember trying for hours one day to tie my hair into a ponytail and after much failing and frustration, I finally managed.

I used to wear pardha before the accident, but after the accident, I stopped because it was difficult. I couldn't even wear a cloak, because I used to walk with a walkingstick and the cloak would come in the way. But Slowly, I started trying to tie my scarf by myself , then I wore the cloak again. I was very upset about my pardha. People suggested I wear it again and ask for help in tying it, but I refused because I wanted to be independent. Alhamdulillah, with time, I started wearing my parda again. 

Now that I have a prosthetic hand, Alhamdulillah, I can do much more on my own, and its now easier. I use my stub on my left arm to help me support things when I carry it. It just takes me longer to do things. Things which were previously easy for me are now difficult for me, but I don’t let things get to me, I persevere until I get it right. 

My body pains a lot, especially when its cold. My left leg is shorter than my right leg, which causes me to limp, but wearing an instep has helped my limp. The pins in my leg which press on my hip when I sleep cause me severe pain some nights. My prosthetic hand creeps me out as I used to have a phobia for pictures of arms and mannequins. I used to have nightmares, but Alhamdullilah with time I got over it. I don’t wear my hand out yet, because I don't think I am ready for all the stares and questions. 

Alhamdulillah, I am pleased with the decree of Allah, but as human beings we have emotions. I sometimes wish I could rewind my life, but then I think that I will have to come back to this time and relive all that had happened, so what is the point? We must look ahead of us, instead of dwelling on the past. What is our purpose of life? Why are we here? To please Allah and our aim is to reach Jannah.

There isn’t a single day that passes, when I do not think of my beloved mother, my dear brother, the life changing accident or my life prior to it.

Going back to the time of the accident when I was semi- conscious, I remember the car finally came to a stop. I remember my father asking us if we were okay. I told him “Yes we are.” I then looked to my side and saw something which looked familiar. I looked again and I said to myself “That’s _my_ hand." When I looked at my shoulder, I noticed my arm was missing. There was blood, bone, veins and flesh everywhere. I calmly told my father “I think my hand is broken.”

When I say calmly, I mean it in the literal sense. I was completely at ease. I kept reciting durood shareef. Allahs help was with me. It was only with His help that I was calm despite the chaos around me. It was and it is only Allah who has given me the strength to come so far. 

Since the time I was in hospital, I made sure that my arm was covered at all times. I was conscious of it. I would wear a shawl or I use to cover it with a blanket. Two months later was Eid, so I wore a dress and matched it with a shawl so that it covered me. Every time I would stand in front of the mirror, I would look at my arm and that made me very afraid of leaving the house. 

It is sad how narrow minded people are. Many people meant good, and would try to console me, but not knowing how to, caused me even more pain. They would say: "Shame, it must be so difficult for you!" and "You used to do so much and now you can't!", "How you manage without your mother?"

Dear reader, choose your words carefully, and if you can't say anything nice, rather not say anything at all. Instead, rather make a secret dua. 

Yes, people stare and they stare really hard. I hear them whisper to each other "Look! She doesn't have an arm!"
Personally, I prefer people to approach me and chat to me instead of staring.

On a few occasions people greeted me and rubbed my shoulder, as if they were consoling me, later I found out it was just to see until where was my hand amputated. That really hurt me. 

Being the eldest, I feel I have to take the responsibility of doing things for my sisters and seeing to their needs, like my mother would have done, as they lost her at a younger age than I.

Alhamdullilah, for the past year, with the Grace of Allah, I manage to wake up every day for Tahjjud. I feel that really really helps me to get through my day. I perform Salaatus shukr and salaatul hajaat every day and I beg Allah to help me. At the time of Tahajjud, I make dua and I let my emotions pour out to my Rabb. Everyday I tell myself “I place my trust in Allah and hand over my affairs to Him.” The days I don’t wake up I feel very low.

Zikr really helps me calm down, whenever I am feeling down or frustrated or im trying to do something with one hand, I will start reading durood shareef or any zikr and immediately I will see the results.

Sitting with my Quraan, and reciting its beautiful words, always brings comfort to my heart.

I do have a few close friends who I confide in. I speak to them whenever I am frustrated. I am so grateful to have them in my life. They are always there for me and they never ever make me feel like a burden to them. Sometimes, all you need to do is speak to someone and it makes you feel better.

Another thing is writing. That really helped me get through most of my challenges. I would write and write until my heart and mind were at ease, although I never showed it to anyone.

For the first year, I never thought much about my future as my sole focus would be therapy and operations. But, after the first year, I started feeling really depressed and down. I remember the days when I used to sit and cry nonstop. I dreaded meeting people and I felt that I had nothing to look forward to. Alhamdulillah, with motivation and duas from my dear and dear ones, I started feeling much better. I kept reminding myself why im here. What is my purpose? Until now, I do have my down days, but I manage to pick myself up by looking forward to being reunited with my beloved ones in Jannah.

I feel I have gained closeness to Allah. I have more trust in Him. The love for this World has left my heart. I think of Jannah and Jahanam more often. What will it be like in the grave? How will I answer for my deeds? Death has become a reality for me. 

If you have lost a person who was close and beloved to you, I would say, that I know it most definitely is not easy. But remember, you aren't the only person in the world undergoing a problem or challenge. There are thousands and millions of people going through challenges. Look at those who are in situations which are worse off than your own, and find solace in that. Remember, that if you have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep on and food on your table, you are more fortunate than most people. Allah tests those whom He loves best. How many tests did our beloved Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) go through and was he not the most beloved to Allah? He lost both his parents during his childhood, he lost his beloved wife as well as his children during his lifetime! What pain did his heart not experience? And it's okay to break down and to cry. When Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was reminded of His beloved, deceased wife Khadijah (ra), did his eyes not tear? Did he not get emotional? Never think that crying makes you weak. In fact, I feel stronger after I cry! Don't hold it in. Speak to a friend or write. It's not easy to lose a loved one, as no one can take their place. But when we think of them, send isaale thawaab for them, as that will help them now. Be happy for them, as they are free in the beautiful gardens of Jannah. May Allah reunite us all with our beloved ones in Jannatul Firdaus, Aameen.

To those who have a disability, I would say, if you remove the prefix dis from the word disability, you are left with the word ability. And that is exactly what you have. You have the ability to pick yourself up again and live your life. You have the ability to be happy. Never think to yourself that I can't do this or that. Yes, maybe you can't do it like how everyone else is doing it, but you have the ability to do it to the best of your own ability and thats what matters most. It is better to try and fail, than to fail to try. Never be afraid of asking for help if you need it. Love yourself and have faith in yourself and keep in mind the great rewards promised to those who are patient. If you don't have one limb, you have three others. If you can't walk, you can talk. If you can't see, you can hear. There is always something to make shukr for.

Lastly, my most important plea to all those, who have neither lost a parent or lost a limb, is to please please please cherish your mother, for you will only realize her true value once she is gone. Before it's too late, appreciate her. Never disrespect her or raise your voice at her. Always be there for her and remind her as often as possible how much you love her and appreciate the things she does for you. Spoil her, tell her to take a day off from the kitchen, massage her feet, buy her gifts, even if it's just a chocolate. Earn her duas, that is what will take you far in life. How I wish I still had that opportunity. Life without her is empty. Remember, Jannat lies beneath her feet.

JazakAllahu khayra for taking the time to read my story. Please forgive me for the length of my article and for any grammatical errors. This is directly from my heart to yours. I hope I have inspired you in some way.
Kindly do remember my family and I in your duas, especially durung these blessed days of Ramadhaan.

Sunday, 26 April 2020

No perfect girls

Bob Marley once said:

"You may not be her first, 
her last, or her only. 

She loved before
she may love again. 

But if she loves you now, 
what else matters?

She's not perfect—you aren't either, 
and the two of you may never be perfect together 
but if she can make you laugh, 
cause you to think twice, 
and admit to being human and making mistakes, 
hold onto her and give her the most you can. 

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, 
but she will give you a part of her 
that she knows you can break—her heart. 

So don't hurt her, 
don't change her, 
don't analyze and 
don't expect more than she can give. 

Smile when she makes you happy, 
let her know when she makes you mad, 
and miss her when she's not there.

Love with your whole being when you receive love.
Because there are no perfect girls, but there will always be a girl who is perfect for you.."

Saturday, 25 April 2020

Ramadaan Consumption..

Iftar

Drink plenty of fluids such as water, freshly squeezed juice, or milk. This will prevent dehydration and provide your body with the essential fluids it needs. Water remains your best source of hydration. Drink 1 – 2 glass of water before your meal and not during your meal to avoid delaying your digestion process. Be wary of Ramadan drinks because they contain a lot sugar and calories.

Break your fast with dates

Traditionally, dates are eaten at the start of your iftar meal. Because they are a nutritious burst of natural sugar they fuel your body with much needed energy. If you suffer from headaches during the fasting hours, most likely caused by low blood sugar, begin your iftar with 2 dates and replenish your sugar levels.

Have a bowl of soup

Soups are an indispensable dish in iftar. They’re rich in water and help you hydrate. Reach out for lentil, tomato, or vegetable soup and avoid cream-based soup. If you don’t enjoy a warm soup during the summer months, cold soups and Gazpachos make a great alternative.

Eat your greens

Vegetables are rich in vitamins, minerals, and fiber and provide so many nutrients in so little calories. The more colorful your salad, the more health benefits it holds. It also provides a feeling of fullness, ensuring you eat less on your main dish. Aim for 2 servings of vegetables per meal. One serving equals a 1/2 cup of raw or cooked vegetables or vegetable juice or 1 cup of leafy raw vegetables.

Choose good carbs

Your iftar meal should contain a source of carbohydrates, preferably complex. These include brown rice, whole grain pasta or bread, potatoes or burghul. Complex carbs provide a more stable and sustainable source of energy in addition to fiber and minerals.

Incorporate lean protein

At iftar, you should aim to eat high quality protein that are highly digestible and contain all the essential amino acids. Your body uses these to build and maintain muscle mass. Beef, milk, yogurt, eggs, cheese, fish and poultry are all complete high-quality proteins. Choose lean proteins to get the benefits with little saturated fats. Include fish, skinless chicken or turkey and low fat dairy to have as part of your iftar meal. If you’re vegetarian, you can select other protein sources such as legumes, beans and nuts.

Take it easy

Don’t be in a hurry to finish your food. After being deprived of eating for an entire day, overloading on food may lead to indigestion and other gastric problems. Have a light iftar that includes reasonable food portions. Controlling the size of your portion is key to staying healthy and preventing weight gain. As a rule of thumb, don’t exceed amounts you would have for a typical lunch or dinner meal.

Avoid foods high in fat, salt and sugar

Whenever possible, stay away from heavy meals for iftar that have too much unhealthy fats, salt and added sugar. When cooking, make your favorite Ramadan recipes healthier by stewing, baking, roasting, steaming or grilling and avoid frying. Add herbs and spices instead of salt to flavor your meals. Finally, replace sweets and sweetened drinks with naturally occurring sugar in fruits, dried fruits and fruit salads.

Saturday, 18 April 2020

LIFE WON'T GIVE SECOND CHANCE.


.
It was their anniversary, and Aisha was waiting for her husband Ahmed to show up.
.
Things had changed since their marriage, the once cute couple couldn't-live-without-each-other had turned bitter.
.
Fighting over every little things, both didn't like the way things had changed.
.
Aisha was waiting to see if Ahmed remembered it was their anniversary!
.
Just as the door bell rang she ran to find her husband wet and smiling with a bunch of flowers in his hand.
.
The two started re-living the old days. Sharing old beautiful memories. And it was raining outside! It was perfect.
.
But the moment paused when the phone in the bedroom rang.

Aisha went to pick it up and it was a man. "Hello ma'am I'm calling from the police station. Is this Mr Ahmed Hasan's number?"
"Yes it is!"
.
"I'm sorry ma'am; but there was an accident and a man died.
We got this number from his wallet; we need you to come and identify his body."
.
Aisha's heart sank.!!! She was shocked!
.
But my husband is here with me?"
"Sorry ma'am, but the incident took place at 2 pm, when he was boarding the train."
.
Aisha was about to lose her conscience.
.
How could this happen??
She ran into the other room.
.
He was not there. It was true! He had left her for good!!
.
She rolled on the floor in pain. She lost her chance Forever!
.
Suddenly there was a noise from the bathroom, the door opened and Ahmed came out and said "Darling, I forgot to tell you my wallet got stolen today".
.
.
LIFE MIGHT NOT GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE. SO NEVER WASTE A MOMENT WHEN YOU CAN STILL MAKE UP FOR YOUR WRONGS!!!
.
So for Allaah’s sake let's start making amendments...
To parents
To siblings
To friends
And many more other relationships..
No one is promised tomorrow. Have a wonderful Life with no regrets!  

Sunday, 12 April 2020

✨TRUE STORY!!!!!!! 😰😰😰😰😰😰😰A Saudi lady doctor told a story about a patient!


A Saudi guy aged 30 named Mohammad entered the lady Doctor's  room and he had his mother with him. She wanted to runaway from his son. She unset her niqab again and again but her son set it again and again. She would bite his hands and spit on his face and her son kept smiling. Then his mother threw her niqab and started laughing and going around the Doctor's table. 

Doctor asked Mohammad who she was and  he replied, 'my Mother'. Then she asked him whats her story, he replied that she was born with mental disorder. Then she asked how she gave birth to you. He told her my grandfather made my father marry her to get a son. So my father married her and divorced her after a year and I was born. And since I was about 10 years old, I am the one serving her. When I want to sleep I tie my foot with her foot so that she cannot runaway.

Doctor asked him why did you  bring her to the clinic. He said that she has sugar and Blood pressure issue. His Mother was laughing and saying, give me Chips and he gave her the chips and smiled at her and she was laughing again. He rubbed her mouth corner to clean the chips particles from there. 

Doctor asked, This is your mother but she doesn't know you? He replied, By GOD she dont know that I am her son but the ONE who created me knows that she is my mother. 

Then the mother shouted at the son, Hey you Liar, why you did not take me to MAKKAH as she saw MAKKAH in the LCD screen. Son replied, on Thursday Mother, didnt I tell you that I will take you on Thursday. 

The Doctor said to him that you will take her to MAKKAH for UMRAH and her problem will increase. He said that whenever she wants to go UMRAH, I take her there , no matter how many times she wants to go, I dont want that she wish anything and I dont make her wish come true which I am able to do it.

Then they went out and the Doctor closed the door and locked it and cried as much as she could to lighten her heart. The Doctor said I have heard parental rights but never saw before a boy whose MOTHER doesnt know him but his life is all under her feet and he serves her best to please ALLAH. 

He was also able to send her to Mental Hospital but he chose to serve her and take care of her so that the door of Heaven remains open in his life and IN SHAA ALLAH in the Hereafter. 

Indeed paradise lies at the feet of Mother. 
Even if you sacrifice your whole life for your parents, you have done nothing for them!

“Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.” [Quran: Surah Ibrahim, Verse 41]

Transliteration: “Rabbana ighfir lee waliwalidayya walilmumineena yawma yaqoomu alhisabu”

Aameen Ya Rabbal Alameen

[ “ One who guides to something good has a reward similar to that of the doer”- Saheeh Muslim Vol 3, no 4665]✨

Wednesday, 8 April 2020

TURMERIC & MILK




👉 Turmeric and Milk have natural Antibiotic properties.

👉 Including these two natural ingredients in your everyday diet can prevent diseases and infections.

👉 Turmeric when mixed with milk can be very beneficial for number of health problems.

👉 This is an effective remedy to fight hazardous environmental toxins and harmful microorganisms.

Tuesday, 7 April 2020

FOUR KEYS TO SUCCESS

🍃🌺🍃


In this life and the Hereafter.

1. #SABR: patience, steadfastness, ...endurance and accepting what Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) has destined for you. This will make you strong to face more hardship and will give you rewards in this life by lifting your troubles and with many goodness in the next life.

2. #SHUKR: gratefulness, thankful to Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) for everything, feeling content with what Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you. This will make you feel rich even if you don't have a thing and it will get you rewarded here by increasing your blessings here and in the hereafter.

3. #TAQWA: piousness, righteousness, good character, doing what is prescribed and keeping away from forbidden deeds. This will make you loved by Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) , His angels and mankind and you will be rewarded in this life by always having a way out in this life and with #Jannah.

4. #TAWAKKUl: putting your total trust in Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) , leaving your affairs in His hands, realizing that everything goes as He has planned. This will give you peace of mind and heart...

🍃🌺🍃